Things have been very insane over the last two weeks. If you haven't already you can check our other blog relating to the pregnancy of girls due this September.
I hope to be up and sharing many thoughts that I have had over the last month or so.
www.aprillerblessing.blogspot.com
May 31, 2008
May 12, 2008
What's up?
After countless emails wondering where I am on this blogging thing...err ah. Have you checked out the numbers on the top of the page lately?
Our hands and schedule is so full with Anneleise right now trying to weed out her "non~verbal" situation going on that the time has some what flew by. The other part of the time I have been trying to tell myself that we had a long road ahead of us and chill out, one day at a time thinking.
This Wednesday is our Echo's on the babies. Pray that all goes well, a clear bill and it will put the works on getting ready for their arrival.
Emotionally I have been struggling, especially today. My second Mother's Day, missing my Aubrey, wishing that my dearest Anneleise would and could say Mommy. It makes me sad not to hear her call me but Tom all the time, but I love her to the moon and back and will continue to fight for her words. There is a whole blog about our Mother's Day and a few pictures but it is late and I am very tired.
I have been really lonely, spring has put everyone in hype mode and there is no one around, I am also wondering if I feel so distant because I am in a place I have never been, but I am the same person. Everyone seems to have changed, I don't feel that it is me, but I have been wrong before. I am emotional, I have been praying about it and asking for the strength and path I need to walk but it all seems to be internalizing, those who are there to listen just don't get it and those who do, well...they have been some of my biggest disappointments lately. So, I will pray on it some more and maybe get hooked up with our pastor. I need a spring cleaning mentally anyway.
One thing that is eating at me is I have always wanted family to share with family, there is almost no family anymore, what is left is distant and busy or doesn't get along with each other so we walk on egg shells, sad really.
Oh well, what can do, keeping quite has been my best bet so far, gets hard and is getting harder but in the past my sharp quick tongue has gotten me skunked before so it has been nice to just be ignored because I'm boring and pregnant, not in the dog house.
Flipping 83 days till baby days and like no we are not even close to being ready.
Our hands and schedule is so full with Anneleise right now trying to weed out her "non~verbal" situation going on that the time has some what flew by. The other part of the time I have been trying to tell myself that we had a long road ahead of us and chill out, one day at a time thinking.
This Wednesday is our Echo's on the babies. Pray that all goes well, a clear bill and it will put the works on getting ready for their arrival.
Emotionally I have been struggling, especially today. My second Mother's Day, missing my Aubrey, wishing that my dearest Anneleise would and could say Mommy. It makes me sad not to hear her call me but Tom all the time, but I love her to the moon and back and will continue to fight for her words. There is a whole blog about our Mother's Day and a few pictures but it is late and I am very tired.
I have been really lonely, spring has put everyone in hype mode and there is no one around, I am also wondering if I feel so distant because I am in a place I have never been, but I am the same person. Everyone seems to have changed, I don't feel that it is me, but I have been wrong before. I am emotional, I have been praying about it and asking for the strength and path I need to walk but it all seems to be internalizing, those who are there to listen just don't get it and those who do, well...they have been some of my biggest disappointments lately. So, I will pray on it some more and maybe get hooked up with our pastor. I need a spring cleaning mentally anyway.
One thing that is eating at me is I have always wanted family to share with family, there is almost no family anymore, what is left is distant and busy or doesn't get along with each other so we walk on egg shells, sad really.
Oh well, what can do, keeping quite has been my best bet so far, gets hard and is getting harder but in the past my sharp quick tongue has gotten me skunked before so it has been nice to just be ignored because I'm boring and pregnant, not in the dog house.
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